Simon (noun)

Definition: The main character

So, you’ve met Simon now… He is in almost as many comics as the mailbox!

Age: 27

Height: Just below average.

Weight: Seriously? He’s digital… His weight is dependent upon what device you view him on.


George (noun)

Definition: Simon’s friend. Not sure why.

Yes, his name is George. He is a nice guy, but sometimes a bit naive.

Age: 28

Height: Just above average.

Wait: I don’t want to. Oh, you meant weight? Pffft. We covered that with Simon…


Scratch (noun)

Definition: Simon’s dog.

Scratch got his name from his poor hygiene. Simon frequently tells Scratch to take a bath, but you know dogs… They just don’t listen.

Age: Scratch is immortal, so it’s hard to tell how old he really is.

Height: Varies with altitude

Weight: Scratch doesn’t mind being picked up, but he hates scales, so nobody knows how much he weighs.


Mailbox (noun)

Definition: Yeah, it’s just a mailbox.

This isn’t really a character, but I feel like it deserves a place on the cast page since it’s been in just about every comic.

Age: Old enough… If you know what I mean…

Height: 41″

Weight: 7.5 imaginary units. Are you happy?!